Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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