I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
