Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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