Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
