she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Even my vagina gasped.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
