using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
And then he peed in my hair
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