...so i touched it.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
