Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
