Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
