the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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