Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
