Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
