I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
