his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
