I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
