Non-Jews are for practice
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm passing your future prison.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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