So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
