I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
