That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
