like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
