Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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