Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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