my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
