ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
