shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
