She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
