Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
