I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
