the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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