He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
