do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
