when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
