Having a random hookup so left but love u
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
