I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
