this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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