Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
