The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
