weddingsv make me drug and hornr
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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