at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
