I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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