are you still at the devil's house?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
