Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
