Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
