Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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