More tranny stories later!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
