did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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