So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Randomize
