You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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