this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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