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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.

  (817): View more from Texas

  I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot

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• (562): View more from California

  So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me

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